**BUM-ble Bee Me**

Bleeding Heart

"You cut me open and i'm bleeding...keep on bleeding love..."

Lyrics from a last song syndrome song (LSS) which also speaks true about my heart and lovelife's condition now a days...
hmmm... (sigh) hmmm....

i'm not crying, i'm not crying now!

I had enough of that melodrama already!

However, i honestly will say that i'm still "bleeding" and that my heart is still torn.
Huh.. yeah good i got that one itsy bit of corny confession out.
Yes, i'm not yet healed and that is because no one in this wide world had taken the effort to do so.

Well, as i've alwways said i don't need a man to be happy but at least i need a person (somebody) to lean on.

I have none. I am living an independent and almost isolated life that only i am aware of.
Oh sure there are people around me. Friends i go out with, watch movie and eat together but no one that i have actually been romantically linked with. (spare my girl friends)

I mean, "kilig" is one factor i'm truly missing and hell, i'm only 21 and it's not fair to say that i should no longer be looking for that now. I'm still young!

No one bothers to share his time and spend effort to show care for me. Where have all the boys gone? Ah...to the mountains!

Well, right now i've hibernated the wild thought of me having another relationship again after that tragic one ended.

I even feel old now. More like i'm thirty because i feel like it, walk like it and damn even speak like it!

Cynical, depressed, frustrated, bitter and damned!

Well, i guess that's my punishment for being too trustful and for giving it my everything...
Maybe that is also the trade-off for recieving so much blessings from the Almighty and for living this kind of life that i have right now.

Yeah, it's definitely a trade-off (that turned out positive for my career) in all the sense of the word. ..